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www.radcliffeulc.org > Clergy > The Ministries of the Reverend Lord Stryse
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Greetings and welcome. If you are reading these words, than you have stumbled upon my eMinistries.
Here you will find lessons of consequence and ramblings of nothingness. It may well be up to you to decide which is which.
Primarily this is just a place to share my perspective on things. Oh and maybe some sermons. As a Priest of Origin, I sometimes have to do those.
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12/14/2009
Today it is foggy outside. Atypical weather for Reno. Fog is a rarity in these parts, and when we do get it, it is usually short-lived. Not today. What makes it particularly remarkable is that it is now past noon, and the fog lingers. It is thinning, but still clings thickly to the valley floor.
It was probably a trick of the light, but I could swear it wasn’t there when I went out to start up my car. Yet when I went back out to leave, i looked about and wondered at myself that there seemed to be a bit of excess exhaust in the air. But no, it was fog.
In the vein of coincidences aren’t, I did fall asleep last night focusing on the Dragon Rune of Fog Dream, Ratanan, and have been enjoying a foggy day today. No recollection of any dreams I had though. 3/31/2009Its always fun the way that idle comments by people worm their way
through my head and then result in a blog posting or some such.
Religion. This was all prompted because someone (well some people
really) have uttered out loud a sentiment more or less along the lines
of them not having a need for religion.
Unfortunately such sentiments betray those uttering them. It reveals a
gross misunderstanding of what religion is. No wonder though, religion
has had its good named sullied as organized institutions of man have
usurped it and took it on a trip through the mud. Its been violated in
insidious ways and as a result the word religion leaves a bad taste in
some people's mouths.
In fact, we can look across much of our human history and see countless
atrocities committed against humanity and nature itself all in the name
of some religion or another. Is it really a mystery why there is a rise
of those claiming 'no religion' here in the US of A?
Frankly, I understand what my friends are really driving at, even if
they are misusing the terminology to get their message across. (I just
have a knack for that kind of thing. Call it enlightenment, pure
psychic phenomena, or my highly attuned gifts of perception.)
Everyone has a religion. Everyone. We have absolutely zero choice in
this regard. We must believe. Our brains are literally hard wired as
such. We have no choice but to believe. Where we do have choice,
however, is in what we believe. In the grand scheme of things, what we
believe ultimately is of no consequence to anyone but ourselves. It
matters not what we believe. All that matters is whatever belief we
adopt turns us on.
People who claim they are without religion are kind of fooling
themselves. What they are really admitting to is that they haven't
found any established religions out there that turn them on. Instead,
everything they've encountered as turned them off. They got that bad
taste in their mouths. Suddenly, they find themselves running from
religion. Sadly, these folks just didn't get schooled on what religion
was intended to be about when it was divinely conceived and built into
the base-code of our human brain. Universally these people, who think
they are running away from religion, run right into it instead. They
made the mistake of confusing religious institutions, religious
doctrine, religious whatever with Religion.
Although the institutions, doctrine, dogma, holy texts, vision of the
prophet, whatever is intricately tied into whatever religion is belongs
too, it is not itself religion.
So if these folks have mistakenly misidentified religion, how then is
it defined? The short answer is that we don't really have a consensus
definition of what religion is. In preparation to this blog I did some
research on how religion is defined. The dictionary gives some
definitions that are a bit contradictory. The problem with something
like Religion is that you can't make the definition too strict because
it then isn't universally applicable to the life experience of all six
billion (plus) of us humans. Go too general in your definition and
you've only succeeded in giving us a bunch of meaningless ramble. In
trying to strike the balance, we've come up with a myriad of
definitions some of which fit and some of which don't, depending on
your particular religious predication.
The Wikipedia entry on religion actually did a fair enough job of
outlining these issues in defining religion. It was fairly thoughtful
in its exploration of how religion is defined. Go ahead and open a new
window or tab (so you don't lose your place here) and take a look at
it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion (I won't mind.)
The one that I think comes closest in grasping the divine point of
religion is Lindbeck's definition, which I'll shamelessly copy and
paste right from the Wikipedia (in case you didn't read it yet):
Lindbeck defines religion as, "a kind of cultural and/or linguistic
framework or medium that shapes the entirety of life and thought… it is
similar to an idiom that makes possible the description of realities,
the formulation of beliefs, and the experiencing of inner attitudes,
feelings, and sentiments.” According to this definition, religion refers to one's primary worldview and how this dictates one's thoughts and actions.
I think that is about as close to the nose as we'll be able to hit it
without completely abandoning linguistic communication. What is key to
this conversation on Religion is the part I put in bold print.
Whatever it is that shapes your worldview, that which shapes your
thoughts, your actions, and how you perceive the world around you is your
religion. That is all religion is supposed to be, its purpose for
humanity. Much of the world's great Religions have utterly missed this
basic tenant in their quest to uncover the truth and give meaning to
their lives.
Now having been in the pagan community for a good half my current
life-span, I've encountered a number of people who practice magic to
some degree and yet utterly maintain they are without religion.
Metaphysical atheists of a sort I guess. Yet they have unyielding faith
in their magic, they have certainly allowed the practice of their art
to influence how they perceive the world around them. A great many of
them even go so far as to have a ministry. Oh sure, they call
themselves a teacher, but make no mistake. They are ministering their
own religion through their educational offerings. My favorites of these
types are those who, like me, have their own vision and set out to
forge their own 'tradition' in which to practice their arte. The
eclectics are those I think that are most in tune with what religion
truly is about.
How many people have you met that tell you "I'm a witch, but I'm not
Wiccan." (Or insert whatever witchcraft-religion you prefer.) Sometimes
these people have just identified a stigma to a term like Religion that
is so completely in opposition to their world view that they give
religion a definition that ensures their own exclusion. Or they just
had such a bad experience in whatever organized religion they were a
part of and, like me, bolted for the door and kept on running. Again,
these folks have missed the point of what religion is, but nevertheless
find themselves following one of their own making without ever
realizing that is what it is.
(Of course it amuses me that they cringe at the stigma associated to a
word like Religion, but have no qualms publicly identifying themselves
by a label that has a far greater negative stigma in society... labels
like sorcerer, or witch. Ah, but the human mind is a curious thing
indeed.)
Make no mistake, magic is a religion all by itself. In fact magic
probably does the best job of keeping what religion is in its proper
place. Practitioners of magic are taught early on that they have to
believe in their magic. Unyielding faith that magic will work is a
requirement (otherwise your doubts will manifest instead of your
desires.... so i guess really faith isn't required for magic to work,
you just need faith if you want it to work toward your intent and not
your doubt.)
What I like about magic as a religion is that it mandates you get out
and experience it for yourself. Take nothing as truth until you've
personally validated it as your
truth. Magic is also an arena that seems to encourage dissension
amongst its ranks in terms of belief systems. The true magician is the
one who maintains "I believe in nothing. I know what I know. I theorize
what may or may not be. These theories I will test and if they hold
true I will adopt them as such." Belief, especially in magic, is
fleeting and our personal religion is always in a state of flux, ever
evolving toward a greater personal truth.
While you may not have a name for it, you do have a religion (in the
true sense of what religion is, not the institutionalized version). No
one is without a world-view. Mine is Stryism, and it is influenced by a
great many institutionalized religions which you can read about in one
of my earlier blogs on this site.
As an aside for any atheists that may read these words... you too have
a religion in that your world view is very much shaped by your extreme
(not in a bad way) and unyielding faith that there is nothing to
believe in. You believe in there being nothing to believe in which is a
bit of an oxymoron in that it itself is a belief you hold as truth.
Atheists everywhere have as strong a faith in their belief in nothing
as the most devout catholic does in their one true god. 3/20/2009Behold the light, reborn this past Imbolc.
Behold today, for the light is now strong enough.
To cast winter, last visage of the dark-half, from the lands.
Life shall again blossom upon all the land.
Hail Ostara! Hail Estore!
2/12/2009Virtually all religions speak of a divine source for creation and
virtually all religions speak of how the created shall, usually through
the cycle of life and death, return to their divine source. (Atheism
parallels this notion in holding that there was nothing before life and
will be nothing after it.) Life is often considered a journey whereby
we are born, progress, and ultimately ready ourselves to rejoin the
divine source. Yet if we came from the divine source to begin with,
than ultimately life’s journey becomes a circle whereby we return to
the place of our origin.
This circular journey is the Path of Origin. Origin itself is not so
much a religion as a philosophy. Origin focuses upon the individual
evolution of spirit and maintains that through the act of living, here
in this plane of existence, we are able to change (grow) our spiritual
self. We are beings of energy and the experiential existence we call
'life' serves to change the energy vibration of our true and higher
selves. By raising our vibration, our consciousness, we bring ourselves
closer to the vibration of the divine source. Ultimately this process
shall lead us to fully ascend to a higher plane of existence and free
us from the cycle of life and death. Our corporeal existence is a
finite one, but as beings of energy our true existence is infinite. The
Path of Origin is the personal journey of each individual who
undertakes to raise themselves toward ascension.
Origin does not require our blind faith. It encourages us to believe in
that which we see/experience, and that which we know to be true. Origin
recognizes that ‘truth’ is rarely an absolute. Though there are
universal truths and the truths of our consensus reality, so too are
there personal truths reflected as the beliefs of every individual.
Origin stands for freedom above all else, and thus honors and respects
the free will of every being throughout creation. It’s most fundamental
teaching is that all paths lead, eventually, to the same destination,
which is indeed the very place that we come from. Other religions speak
of the one, true, path to salvation. Origin teaches that we do not
require salvation, for we were forged from the same divine source as
all things. Thus the only true path is that which we make for
ourselves. Within each of us lives the divine spark of the great
creator, that which is the universe in all its infinite complexity and
majesty. Origin holds that humanity has forged a variety of spiritual
paths and that each has its own inherent merits and fallacies, each
shapes us in a unique way. Each is a valid path toward spiritual growth
and evolution. The key, however, is that one must take the path that
will bring about the specific growth and evolution necessary for that
individual to advance. No two individuals are on quite the same journey.
Those who take the Path of Origin come from all walks of life and
spiritual traditions and their common thread is the adherence to the
universal doctrine: Do only that which is right for you. Each of us has
the inherent right and responsibility to determine what is "right" for
our own journey through life. Our path is our own, our morality is our
own, our truth is our own. No individual is charged with the
responsibility to make this determination for another. What is "right"
is something each individual must determine for themselves. Those who
would follow the philosophy of Origin must understand this and
ultimately must learn to respect the freedom of each individual to walk
their own path. For once one undertakes the journey down the Path of
Origin, we must not lead them to stray from their path by imposing our
own. 12/4/2008
In our 21st century world, the concept of Elder has become obscure and vague. Before the advent of modern city life, back when we were villagers not citizens, Elders were easily recognized and the mantle of Elder clearly understood. Everyone knew what an Elder was and who the Elders in the village were. It was as unquestioned as the rising sun.
Today we city councils and mayors and all hosts of government to manage the affairs of our broad, diverse, and disconnected ‘community.’ We’re no longer a tight-knit society, but fellowship of that lost time is not entirely extinct. We are all a part of the greater community that is our metropolitan area (which I use loosely in relation to the Truckee Meadows). Yet within this melting pot of a community exists sub-communities. Within these sub-communities, true Elders still exist. They aren’t necessarily the figureheads of our society. They don’t necessarily greet strangers to our lands, or govern our tribes, but they are still there, doing the business of an Elder for those who have need.
Sadly, the community of Indigenist (ie: pagan) religions here in Northern Nevada isn’t as connected as it might have been in times past. This isn’t a city with distinct districts in which the sub-communities have congregated into and lead a more-or-less self contained existence. We’ve intermixed and so don’t have the benefit of everyone knowing everyone else and thus naturally knowing who the village elders (and village idiots—another time-honored and respected office which I believe deserves equal reverence) are without much question or thought on the manner. No, we the collective community do not easily recognize our Elders anymore. Who are they?
As our society has moved away from its tribal roots (which really began before Europeans settled on this continent), many have lost touch with the architecture of such a community. The trappings of the society we’ve moved too has made us wary of those we don’t know and thus we’re more skeptical of the motives of others. Yet our common bond is the theology that is shared between our varied and diverse traditions--Indigenous religions that have survived where the rest of the culture they were born from has eroded away in the winds of time. Though they have evolved, as is the nature of all life, they have carried with them certain aspects of the societies that gave rise to them in the first place. Amongst these are concepts such as Elders. Yet it would seem few who follow these paths know what an Elder is. Especially those who have recently started their journey along these ancient spiritual roads. Still they hear mention of the Elders. It is implied they should respect, even defer to these individuals (who are often faceless strangers) yet they know not why they should. In fact we’re taught to respect our Elders from early childhood but in a manner to suggest we should respect the Elderly. Although it is sound advice, for the elderly are certainly due all the respect any other human being deserves, those dispensing this advice it would seem may also lack an understanding of what an Elder is. Who are they? Why are they here?
Anyone on the EPON list may have noticed in today’s distribution a Seeker’s Bill of Rights. It is written by Charles Mars and the very first Right is that to Verify Credentials, and it states: Seekers shall not be obstructed from substantiating claims made by a teacher or group. In the case of Elders that were inspired to create a new tradition, the Seeker has the right to know the circumstances surrounding the inception of that tradition.
Another reference to Elders without much discourse on what an Elder is. Granted, in Mr. Mars’ case it was no doubt assumed that one had some idea of an Elder being more than simply someone of advanced age. (Age is a relative thing and being elderly is, as we shall soon see, not a means in and of itself to be considered an Elder). His Bill of Rights would suggest that anyone who starts a tradition of their own might be considered an Elder, but also implies that the Elder of one tradition may not be recognized as such in another tradition, which makes me wonder if they should truly be considered an Elder at all, if based solely on their creation of a new tradition. Yet it is a Seeker’s Bill of Rights and a Seeker who has need to know what their rights are most likely also needs to know a lot more, like what an Elder is, so as to better navigate the terrain of this new territory their spiritual path is winding through.
The following is how I’ve come to understand what an Elder is. Failing any elders of the community to educate me properly about any Mysteries, let alone the great Mystery of Elderhood), I’ve gone with what I could find in print. (Of course it was once pointed out to me by someone I consider an Elder that self-discovery is as valid an education as something more formalized and so we should have more faith in our ability to teach ourselves.) This little article is by far the soundest explanation of what an Elder is that I have found (as measured, naturally, by how well it fits the evolving personal theology in my own head). I did not write it, its author did not leave a name, but instead a note that it was published under the GPL and thus I may freely copy it here instead of just refer you:
There are two types of individuals who are qualified to be esteemed as Pagan elders. The first type is extremely wise in the use of his or her knowledge of Paganism, or a specific Pagan tradition. The second type is one who "gets the job done" for the betterment of the Pagan cause. Such elders are needed and welcomed in the Pagan community; they are the "bright lights" along what is often a long, dark path.
Those worthy of Pagan elderhood are those who don't really wish to be Pagan elders. The wise individual and the active individual are simple people, with a great love of their faith. They help others because it is natural to them; it is part of their true selves to share their talents or wisdom. They are not proud; they do not attract attention to themselves. Pagans are drawn to them for advice or assistance, as if drawn by a magnet.
It is possible to find a great comfort in the presence of a true Pagan elder, because their words and actions are honest. No hidden agenda provides their motivation. They live, in harmony with nature, with other people, with the Gods. To view their aura is a spectacular experience. Pagans who discover a true elder are very reluctant to let that person go, even though these unwilling elders tend to move on after awhile. The attention and adulation of others may make them uncomfortable in a way, so they seek a new, quiet place to live. It doesn't take long, however, before Pagans in the new location recognize their presence and seek them out. A distinct energy emanates from these individuals - even as they shop at the mall or grocery store. And, this is a good thing.
In sharp contrast, there are those who set a goal to become a Pagan elder, thinking they can amass money, fame or power in such a position. They promote themselves as experts, usually on a specific tradition or subject matter, and either offer themselves as public speakers or preachers, hold classes for a fee, write articles or books. In today's society, where so many people gullibly believe what they see and hear - often ignoring their intuition or better judgement - such self-proclaimed elders draw the naive to them, and proceed to mislead, confuse and sometimes totally disillusion them about the true meaning of their Pagan faith.
Some of these types seek ordination (usually through various websites) and use the title "Reverend" at every available turn. They may see no use in observing the Sabbats, or the lunar cycles (depending on their professed tradition). The rituals they do hold may seem rather lame, and may tap the energies of others in attendance for the leader's own purpose, rather than raising it and putting it to good use.
The self-styled elders are very careful to offend no one, and end up saying little of any practical use. When confronted by someone knowledgeable in Pagan matters and practices, they avoid answering questions, fearing they will be exposed for their lack of knowledge and their real motivation. They may also become defensive when challenged by an honest seeker, and deride these inquirers for not falling in line with their own skewed beliefs.
The effect of self-proclaimed elders on the Pagan community can be devastating. The media, knowing little about Paganism, will eagerly respond if notified that Reverend So-and-So is holding a public ritual where the attendees will be skyclad, or if he or she offers to give an interview about their unusual (often unorthodox, even in Pagan terms) "ministry". Journalists will take what such a person says at face value, not having any means to counter inaccuracies, through their own lack of resources. Then, when the report is broadcast or printed in the newspaper, and members of other faiths express public horror at the practices of this "elder" and his group, Paganism is dealt a blow which honest individuals will be hard pressed to mend.
True Pagan elders most often see little point in doing battle with these self-proclaimed leaders. More often than not, the life-span of false elderhood is short. Call it karma or the Three-Fold Law, their unethical actions return to haunt them and they eventually vanish into the ether.
It still remains for all Pagans to beware of those who make claims they cannot support, or which are clearly false. The ongoing struggle for acceptance and understanding of Paganism by the general public is difficult enough without misinformation being circulated, or a so-called elder's questionable reputation or actions adding to the difficulty.
Better to trust the quiet Pagan, whose magick is evident in every aspect of his or her life. From these elders, the truth can be learned, and the spirit can grow.
Thus, I hope all who were as curious as I who the Elders in the community are, and what they are about, now have a clearer understanding
Unfortunately, while this article does a great deal to clarify Elderhood, it does raise another issue about Reverendhood, which we can discuss in its own thread. Suffice it to say, while its warning is valid, it has more to do with the actions of said individuals than titles. However, I would note that I know of no strictly pagan priestesses or priests using the title of Reverend. 8/10/2008Perhaps now is as good a time as any to go into some details about my relationship with the umbrella of Christianity. The first half of my child hood wasn’t one of any deep religious upbringing. God was mentioned, but never really studied. Then I went to live with my dad and his new wife. He, and his family, are all southern Baptists. Some more strict than others. My grandmother says nothing to me about it, but my dad is frequently ridiculed for his beer-drinking. Anyway, my then-step-mom was a roman catholic. They married and wanted their children (all four of us) to have a religious upbringing. The differences of their religions forced them to find a compromise. So it was decided we’d go to a Lutheran church. About as close to Catholicism as you can get without being Catholic. (However, my experience in the boy scouts brought me into direct contact with people, grown up and otherwise, who spanned the full breadth of Christianity. I also had a few friends in high school who belonged to a truly nondenominational Christian church and we spent many an afternoon studying the varied beliefs of the umbrella Christian faith. So I’ve at least had exposure to all but its more extreme factions.) So that was interesting. Went through first communion, got baptized by a Lutheran pastor in a Baptist church (as my dad refused to allow my baptism to be anything short of full immersion). Yet despite all this training and teaching of the ways of a good Christian, and the promise of eternal life if I just followed the rules… I never felt fulfilled by it. Perhaps my mind was simply too reasoned for my own good, but I never bought anything they were telling me. A whisper in my head told me that eternal life was my birth-right, not a reward for leading a specific type of life. I would later learn this whisper was simply one or more of my spirit guides giving me a more complete truth than what I was getting from the church I was going too. Then I got into high school, puberty happened, and I became aware of that little difference between me and other boys. My sexuality has awoken. I struggled with it because of all the preaching of it being abominable (interesting they chose that word and not ‘sin’). Thankfully it was never suggested I go to some conversion camp. To make a long story short, let’s leave it at: I struggled with it for several years. The clarity of hind-sight left me knowing, as gospel truth, that I had always been that way, that I never made a choice to be attracted to boys. It was my nature from my earliest of memories, thus I could only conclude I had been born homosexual. Now shaded in my mind as I was by what was then the only exposure I had to what created me… I finally decided that my god was not one who would create me only to condemn me. That notion that he would struck me as completely contrary to over-arching teachings of the religion—of a god who loves all his children. Further, my public education (of which I maintain I am still a victim of), was teaching me all this history where terrible terrible things were done to people in the name of the church, or rather done for the church in the name of their god/messiah. This too was not the work of my god. Thus I realized that my god, whoever and whatever it was, was decidedly not the Christian god. It wasn’t until later that I consciously made a distinction between that church and their god, but regardless I ran from it. I ran far in search of something more meaningful. It did not escape notice that the farther from the church (ie the institution of men) I got, the closer I felt to ‘god’. There are a variety of religions out there I’ve looked at, but many not more than a cursory surface look at. All the while that whisper in my head has been whispering ‘this is true’ or ‘this is not’ in my head. The indigenous ones, and their modern variants, would receive the most attention of my studies. Not only did the ancient teachings of humanity ring the truest in my head (albeit mostly modern interpretation of ancient teaching), but I became keenly aware that although the belief systems included in that umbrella were all distinct and separate, they were united by common threads. I noted this was true of Christianity with all its many denominations, yet a key difference is that with indigenous teachings it was more different ways of saying the same thing (similar to how a group of people can witness something and relate that factually from their point of view and you end up with a set of similar yet distinct stories). This is sometimes true in Christianity, but more often than not is a fundamental difference in viewpoint. (Nothing better illustrates this point than this: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=116247852&albumID=528855&imageID=26547629) The funny thing about all these ancient teachings… I’d learn them and have the realization that although I had never been exposed to it before, it was all something I had known all along. Much like the clarity in which I could see I had been gay all along, I realized I’d been pagan [since that was the term for it then J] all along as well. Indeed my first experience that gave me pause to question the religion my parents were trying to pass down to me was long before I regularly started attending that Lutheran church. I couldn’t have been more than 6 or 7 and was quite fond of the public library. A book was past due and my mom wanted to return it. Well I spent a fair amount of time searching that entire house for the book. Looked and looked and it was nowhere to be found. Experiencing a bout of despair because I knew my mom would be displeased and I didn’t want to displease her, I decided to pray. But it was a very special prayer. It began, “Whatever god is listening, please help me find this book.” I no sooner step out my bedroom door following this prayer, and once again look down the hallway I had looked down a hundred times at that point to find it, and lo and behold its sitting squarely in the middle of the floor. No wonder I took nothing at face value again when it came to what was being spat at me from a Christian pulpit. Everything they taught me was resisted with questioning. Much to the frustration of my father. Although much of it was a futile attempt to find an understanding to reconcile what they were telling me was true and that which I believed was true. (Its also of little wonder that I’ve long had a healthy fear of my own power.) I probably spent a good decade distancing myself from the Christian church as a whole. I would go into them from time to time, in the company of a friend or family member that was a member. I was very much aware that there was no divine presence there (well, beyond the sleeping sparks in the people amassed). Something one of the cofounders of my little church (in its two-continentedness) once said describes my feelings in those moments: “If God created this entire planet for us, why do we confine ourselves to a small box to worship Him?” – The Reverend Lord Oblivious So then, I had traveled quite a journey from where I was when I had left Christianity behind. A journey, of course, which never ends. I’ve escaped one church to found another. Indeed I’ve found no religion to hold all the answers. Yet its easy to know why. My journey has brought me together with many a fine individual who share spiritual philosophies. What we have realized is that any spiritual journey is a personal one, and not everyone needs the same answers. Religions form from shared sets of answers, often subjective to their shared points of view. Yet not everyone shares the same truths. Hence we have warred and destroyed one another, sometimes entire societies and ideas. Yet somehow, the universal truths weave themselves into this opposing faiths, connecting them. I would see this as evidence of the divine force behind everything. For many many years as I made this journey I refused to identify myself as belonging to any religion. Each had some degree of exclusivity to it, and I would not be limited or constrained in faith. But yet I found a religion and share it with others. I walk the Path of Origin. And Origin teaches us that we need not concern ourselves with what others believe. It is of no consequence unless they seek to harm others. Only then should we interfere. As long as we can recognize that diversity of belief leads to a greater understanding of truth, our differences only serve to aid in our spiritual growth. And yet my journey, which began in rejection of Christian beliefs, has brought me back to them. More accurately, I’ve been guided back to the Christian bible. I have little interest in the institutions man has built around that book. As I have already rejected the dogma injected into faiths based on this book, and have a more seasoned mind with which to compare it, my renewed study of it has been through the eyes of a gay magus. Disregarding the teachings of man contained in the book, and focusing on the teaching ascribed to their God, particularly the teachings of the Jewish carpenter, I find some startling parallels. Unfortunately it deepens my condemnation of the churches built around it. To me its as though they’ve entirely missed the point of their entire religion. They’re too caught up on how some men interpreted these teachings that none of them considered making their own. This isn’t blanketly true. There are indeed some Christians I’ve come to know that are not entirely blinded by the light they’re looking at. Perhaps they use a shoe box with a hole in it to study their god. I applaud them for their efforts to look up once in awhile and see the world around them. Interestingly enough, these types tend to have a radically different take on what the bible is saying than what we typically expect from Christians. Indeed as a gay magus, taking a scholarly approach to interpreting the bible, I tend to have a very different take on what the bible is really saying about things as well. This is why I argue against the notion the bible is nothing but a book of hatred, why I argue that there is no blanket condemnation of homosexuality in it, and why we must distinguish between the book and the church. Often what you are told is in the bible is one person’s inference upon what is actually printed there. They fill in blanks in their mind and forget that they’re adding their own notions upon the actual words used. Part of this is due to a bastardized translation, but part of it is reading between lines what you want to read, and not what is actually there. I’m kind of excited that one of the oldest bibles (4th century) is soon to be reunited online. It will be interesting to compare it with modern translation. So that in a nut-shell is my relationship with the Christianity. It’s been a strained one over the years, but I have to have peace with it. People I care a great deal about are Christian and there will be no turning them to another path. Indeed it would be remiss of me to even attempt. I am a Priest of Origin, after all. It is their Path to walk, and as Origin teaches us, those who follow the Path must not be led astray. So say we all. 5/28/2008So today I was talking with a friend who is going through some relationship woes and I made the comment "Everyone should follow my roadmap." He wanted to re-read it and so I sent him the link and re-read it myself and decided it would make an awesome sermon... so here we go.
Stryse's Roadmap to Love - Newly Revised
Look, this was written more towards relationships between two men, so its largely worded that way, but the principles behind it apply to any relationship, same-sex or opposite-sex, male or female. If you're straight you may not be aware, but gay men (and maybe gay women but what would I know of them?) have this annoying tendancy to rush their relationships and then cry over it when it blows up in their face. There are a lot of reasons why they do this, but if they truly want an enduring, meaningful relationship with someone, they should slow down and enjoy the process. It's half the fun of having a relationship.
The road from meeting someone to spending a lifetime is broken up into five stages, each of which builds upon what came before it. I have some ideas of appropriate timelines for the stages, but where those are expressed understand that they're merely guidelines. Don't move into the next phase until you're good darn and ready.
I've put this together based on my own experiences in love and it has served me well on the path to finding a life partner. Unfortunately I haven't always communicated this as well as I should have and that's led to conflict, so it led me spell it out in this format.
This is the roadmap:
As you see, I have broken it up into five chevrons. What follows is an explanation of each chevron. Get ready, this could bring about a radical change to your world view.
Chevron 1 - "Friends"
It starts with one. You'll note that the word friends is within quotation marks. This is because friend is a word much like love. Its meaning is a continuum, not an absolute. In truth, I have very few friends: i.e.. those people I'm actually close to and share a mutual involvement in one another's' lives. The true friends in my life are like my pack. So the word friends is used loosely.
In the context of a relationship, where romantic love has a possibility, the "friends" phase of the relationship is the starting point. This phase begins when a mutual interest in one another is expressed. It is the phase where we determine the nature of the relationship we desire with one another.
There are three possible outcomes for this phase:
1) A romantic interest is found and we move on to the second chevron.
2) A true friendship is born, but without any romantic involvement
3) We are acquaintances only. We recognize one another out in the world and may or may not acknowledge one another in the process. All we can really say is that we know one another but there is no meaningful interaction.
Chevron 2 - Dating
Step 2 of the Roadmap is where you have both expressed a romantic interest in one another. This is when you are actually dating one another. It's called courtship and its different from spending time with friends.
In this phase we being opening ourselves to experiencing an emotional connection to the person we're seeing and start laying the foundation of our relationship with them. By the end of this phase we should have a solid understanding of what each other expects in a relationship.
There are two possible outcomes to this phase:
1) You fall in love.
2) You don't.
If you fall in love, you move to the next Chevron, and if you don't, you move on. Maybe you stay friends with the person, maybe you don't, but you do stop wasting each other's time pursuing a relationship that isn't meant to be.
The dating phase should last a minimum of six or so months. The purpose of dating is to see if you really like this person to make them part of your life. Do you like them well enough to start making commitments to them? If your goal is to get laid, stay at the first chevron. If you want a casual thing, stay at this chevron. If you want something meaningful, continue.
Chevron 3 - Boyfriends
If its phase three in the relationship than that means you know that you love this person and you hope that they love you back. Of course if we've made it to phase 3 than that love you feel has already been mutually expressed.
The mantle of boyfriend is not one to take lightly. This is point that actual commitments to one another are being made. Woe to any who would make such a commitment lightly.
It is only in the third chevron that one should start having any expectations of their partner. Until now its been casual and fun, but at this juncture things are now serious. The first, and foremost, expecation you should have is one of communication. You tell each other what is going on in regards to the relationship. This is this phase that you start exploring your compatibility for life-long partnership. If you're to a point where you both consider each other to be your boyfriend, then you should fully expect you're both in it for the long-haul. If there is a fight, its not going to be the last you speak to or see each other. This is were we drop all facades and show our true, unedited selves to one another. This is where the relationship becomes "serious."
Two possible outcomes:
1) You find out you're good together as a couple
2) You don't and part ways (in whatever manner you agree on... maybe you settle for being friends, maybe you don't want to see each other again). This option would involve some heartache as there is an emotional attachment that is being severed.
This phase should not be rushed. I'd say a minimum of a year or so. No matter how much you think you know someone, you don't know them after a few nights together. Life takes a bit longer to give you situations where you can see their true colors.
Chevron 4 - Live In Boyfriend
In the past, this is the step that seems to get me into trouble more than any other, because the people i've been with seem to confuse this stage, with the next one. Don't make that mistake. This is an important stage in getting to our end-goal of what some people call "wedded-bliss". Think of it as the final test before taking the ultimate step in a relationship.
At the fourth chevron, we know we click well with our partner. We're great together and quite happy in our relationship and find ourselves ready to take the next step. We decide to live together. Either you move in with them, they move in with you, or you both move into a new place together. You live with one another, sleep in the same bed every night together, and wake up each morning to find the love of our life laying there next to you. You see each other at your best and worst because you reside together and can't hide it.
Understand, however, that there is a difference between living together and being "married" to one another. Assuming I was proposed to, I could not say yes until I had already experienced what life was like having you around day in and day out. A successful long-term relationship must at some point explore what its like to live with one another and see each other when we haven't had time to prepare for each other's company. This phase teaches us a lot of things we just can't learn living apart and truly tests our commitment and compatibility with our partner. We learn a great deal about each other's character through their daily behaviors.
There are three possible outcomes:
1) Successful cohabitation.
2) You determine that while you still enjoy one another and the relationship, you're just not ready to handle life in the same home. So you revert back to the third chevron until such time as you've resolved whatever the problem was and you're ready to give it another shot.
3) We decide that we've seen our partner's true colors and the person we thought we were in love with just isn't "the one" for us and we part ways. You might end up hating each other after this phase, but in general my experience is that I do consider the ex to be a great person, but just not the right guy for me to spend the rest of my life with. Hopefully if you find yourself here, you'll have the same revelation. You shouldn't be this far into the relationship if the person you're dating is a terrible human being anyway.
My dad said live with someone for five years before marriage, and I generally agree. If you really are going to spend your lifes together, waiting several years for the commitment ceremony is a small thing. You'll be glad you did anyway because there is little you won't know about your significant other after that amount of time together... and it would be rather unusual any "marriage" would fail.
Finally...
Chevron 5 - "Husband"
This is it. You are convinced that they are "The One" or "Mr. Right" or however you want to phrase it. Your love for each other has become so strong, so pure, that the loss of your parnter might well result in death by a broken heart. That is how strongly you should feel for each other at this phase. At the fifth chevron, we know without any shadow of doubt that we will be at each other's side until the end of time, or we both should perish, whichever occurs first. You know that you can depend and rely upon each other for this and that you can comfortably grow old together, there is no fear that you'll end up alone when you're past your prime. Life apart is incomprehensible and you really have no idea how you made it so long without this person there.
This is the equivalent of marriage whether you go through the formal institution or not. It is that level of a relationship that, no matter what happens in your lives or between you, we will always remain together. You've learned how to resolve conflict between you, and there isn't much of it anyway. It is a sacred commitment you make to each other and no longer are you two people, but one.
It is a commitment that I will only make once.
You may note in the graphic, I left this chevron open. Perhaps there is something higher in the afterlife, or perhaps the relationship can evolve in this life beyond even my considerable imagination.
That, dear children, is my roadmap to love. Take your time with it. Love is a process, not something you pick up from a convenience store. Lasting relationships are built brick by brick, not bought premanufactured.
4/9/2008This is just so sad. Losing a best friend along with the house: Animals abandoned, turned in as families face foreclosures on their homes I can certainly understand and relate to some of these individuals who are put into the unenviable situation of choosing whether to care for their pet or their person with limited resources. Being the ’owner’ of two dogs myself, one of which is a rather large breed, I can also relate to the limits placed on housing options when you are a pet owner. So I really feel for these people who have to give up their long-time pet. Those people who are kind enough to try and get them into the adoption pipeline... well I appreciate them doing that. The alternative, abandoning their pet, or cutting them lose to live in the wild (which a domesticated pet is ill-equipped to do), however, sicken me. I know we’re all feeling the economic downturn and its hitting us all in different ways. But this article, to me, needs to be a call to action. It is inevitable that people are going to have to give up their pets and that some of those are going to go to shelters where they will hopefully be placed in loving homes. While those pets are better off than their brethren who are simply left behind... there is still a bit of a psychological impact on them (moreso on dogs who have difficulty adjusting to life away from their pack). I implore anyone reading this... do what you can to support your local animal shelters. They have limited resources and won’t be able to handle the influx of new arrivals. Maybe you can donate money, but if you can’t consider donating time. If you’re in a good situation and able, consider adopting a pet. But don’t undertake that lightly. Its a huge responsibility very akin to having a child (though I think less stressful). But if you do adopt a pet, or more importantly if you, like me, are already a pet ’owner’, you need to include Rover and Garfield in your contingency plans. Heaven forbid anything happen to you and you’re in a situation similar to these people giving up their pets... get a plan together now. If you had to vacate your home on short-notice and move into a no-pet apartment... what are you going to do with your pet(s)? Don’t wait until that situations hits you on the head. Get an action plan together now. You do it for yourself, for your children, consider your four-legged dependants. Chances are they give you unconditional love and loyalty. They’re counting on you to provide for them because they can’t provide for themselves. If you watched that show on History channel, Life after People, then you already have an idea of how difficult it will be on fluffy if her humans aren’t around to care for her. Talk to your friends and family. If the worst happened, is there someone that would be willing to take in your little furball, even temporarily until you get yourself back on your feet? Do you know what assistance is available to you from local resources like your humane society? I think all to often people take their pets for granted. Mine have given me a taste of fatherhood... what it would be like to have children. Its made me take my responsibility as an animal ’owner’ very seriously. Leia and Dax won’t ever have to worry about being abandoned, or even given up to a shelter, should anything happen to me that prevented me from being able to care for them. Like the cylon, I too have a plan. 10/24/2007
You would do well to heed the lessons of the geese. For they are wise in their simplicity. Though our path is our own, where we are going is where we all come from. The destination is the same for each of us. These lessons of the Geese will serve you well on your journey of Origin.
This Fall, when you see Geese heading south for the winter flying along in “V” formation, you might discover what science has discovered as to why they fly that way…..
Fact: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an “uplift” for the bird immediately following. By flying in a “V” formation, the whole flock has a 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
Lesson: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.
Fact: When a goose flies out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone. It quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front of it.
Lesson: If we have as much common sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others. It is harder to do something alone than together.
Fact: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation, and another goose flies to the point position.
Lesson: It is sensible to take turns doing the hard and demanding tasks and sharing LEADERSHIP. As with geese, people are interdependent of each other’s skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, and resources.
Fact: The geese flying in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
Lesson: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one’s heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek. We need to make sure our honking is encouraging and not discouraging.
Fact: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two other geese will drop out of formation with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their flock.
Lesson: If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by our colleagues and each other in difficult times as well as in good! |
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